It has always been true, ever since it was first invented; bow ties are cool. It is just a simple fact of the universe. Now I know what you’re thinking: “That’s from Doctor Who. That’s why you like bow ties.” Well, you’d be wrong. So there, ha! No, sorry, that’s very rude of me. But it still stands that I liked bow ties before the were made popular by the television series. I’m super hipster like that.
My history with bow ties began in the fall of 2006 when I met the most amazing man I have ever known. Many of you know this man. His name is Mr. LeRoy and why he’s not a professor at some super awesome university for awesome people I have no idea, but I’m very glad he’s not. I would never get into such an awesome place. Lucky for me, he found himself with a job at the newly opened performing arts school in the literary arts department. If you’ve been with me long, you have heard all sorts of things about this Mr. LeRoy and his massive amounts of amazingness, and you’ve probably already heard this story as well, but I will continue for those of you who haven’t. Mr. LeRoy had an affinity for uncommon neck wear. While he has been known to wear a traditional straight tie now and again, it is far more common to see him wearing an ascot or, the all important, bow tie. Yes, Mr. LeRoy was known for his bow ties. So much so that once during his British literature class it was suggested that he give away his old bow ties as prizes for the quiz winners, instead of the usual hot beverage at the school’s morning cafe.
I feel the need to elaborate on this point, though you may not have the patience to listen to my elaboration. Before each section of Brit. lit. we were given a quiz with no bearing on our grade to see how much we already knew about the particular subject we were approaching. The person, or persons, who scored highest on these quizzes were treated to a hot drink of some kind from the cafe before we made the cold journey to the library in the morning. The thing about these prizes, however, was that Mr. LeRoy would often forget that he owed them and to whom he owed them and was late coming over anyway, so he didn’t have time to purchase the drinks in the morning, even if he wanted to. This resulted in quite a few of us being owed drinks by the end of the semester. I, due to my surprisingly well preserved knowledge of Sherlock Holmes from first year, managed to be one such student.
The natural solution to this problem is, of course, to take everyone owed a drink over one morning and get them whatever they want. This is what happened. Mr. LeRoy asked for those who were waiting on a prize and gave us this choice: either come over to the main building and get a drink with him then, or take door number 2 and get a mystery prize. Well, it was my senior year and I had come to the conclusion that it was most important to have a cup of hot chocolate in hand every morning when we walked over so the thought of getting another drink when I had one in my hand already seemed very silly at the time. I took door number 2 along with another student. When Mr. LeRoy returned from the venture for hot beverages he revealed that behind door number 2, straight from his very own closet, were two of his favorite forms of neck wear; a bow tie and an ascot. The other brave student and I flipped for first choice. He won. Luckily for me, it seems he did not appreciate the bow tie as much as I did. He picked the ascot. I won the bow tie.
It might be strange to you, how excited one old, used piece of formal wear could excite me so, but I assure you, it was one of the most exciting moments of my senior year. It wasn’t really just the bow tie, though it is a very cool bow tie. It was the man behind the bow tie that really made it special. To this day I still wear my bow tie on special occasions. Every day I have a test it must be around my neck. No, it’s not really good lucky, it doesn’t really make me smarter, but I feel better when I wear it. It wasn’t until after I’d graduated that I encountered Matt Smith and his bow tie. It’s one of those things I’ve just formed an attachment to. I strongly feel that a bow tie makes any guy look classier. Is it any wonder that I’m dating a man who wears bow ties more than straight ties? They’re just such happy things. So yes, Doctor, bow ties are cool, but I don’t love bow ties because of the Doctor. I love the Doctor because of bow ties.