Having a Baby Changes Everything

21 Oct

I told you I’m running out of stuff. So I thought I would tell you a little story. The story of a love that formed between me and my dear friend Courtney and the spawn that came of it. I’m of course, talking about my kids.

It starts with a girl, as most things do. This story doesn’t get a boy, though. Not until later, anyway. Just two girls with a tendency to make stuff up in their heads that sometimes spills out onto paper. My friend Courtney and I, before we were good friends, would talk about books and occasionally writing. After being in the same, close-knit department for four years, however, you can’t help but become close to those around you, especially with someone as fantastic as her. She spent our entire junior year threatening to steal me from my husband and my husband from me. We became closer while suffering through gym class and slowly she melted into my friendship with Breyln and our duo became a trio. Or that’s how I see it at last. I’m getting to a point here, really I am.

Our true love came out when I asked her to prom and we decided to collaborate on our Why We Think final. Why We Think What We Think was a class on philosophy and for the final we were to pick an art form, whether it be dance, drama, art or even cooking, and use it to explain a philosophical theory or philosopher. We chose to make a short film about the idea of the Will by both Arthur Schopenhauer and Friedrich Nietzsche. Someday I will figure out how to put it on YouTube and then I will share it with you all, because it’s hilarious.  If you’ll excuse that bunny trail, I’ll get back to my point. We went to my husband, Amy’s birthday party, kind of ironic, really. It was a sleepover and we spent the night in her camper where there were just enough places for everyone to sleep. Courtney and I had smushed ourselves together on the floor in the ‘living room’ area where the TV was to watch Pride and Prejudice and kind of half fell asleep. They told us to move several times but we weren’t moving, even though there was a whole empty bed right beside us. On Monday, I didn’t feel well. I tried to go to school and didn’t even make it to first block. I did however stay long enough to whine to my friend Kate about not feeling well. Kate immediately turned to Courtney and said something to the effect of “Courtney! I told you to use protection!” And from that point on, I was pregnant with Courtney’s baby.

Over the next two months we decided said baby was a boy, named him Galen Michael Farkas and decided he would be a wetboy (read the Night Angle Trilogy). Galen was born on July 11th 2009. He’s now 19. How? He’s magical of course! Since he was our first, he got all the attention. He got grandparents and godparents and uncles and aunts, even a great aunt, though she’ll never admit it. When we decided he was a boy, I informed Courtney that she now owed me a girl. So she slipped something into my tea while I had a cold and thus our second child was conceived. On November 25th 2009 our daughter Adilet Elizabeth Farkas was born she was far less well known, but still granted the same godparents and family members as Galen. Unfortunately, Adilet also was subjected to Great Aunt Brelyn.

Brelyn tried to teach me how to play the Sims 3 game, at which I only moderately failed. I decided to make my children because… well I have no idea. But I made them and after Galen got married to his boss we decided that Adilet needed a man. Since there didn’t seem to be any around, we made one… or rather, Brelyn made her one. We named him Emery Song, gave him a little house, and set them together. You’ll never guess what happened. Emery apparently thought cooking was more important than peeing. When he couldn’t hold it anymore he wandered into the bathroom, while Adilet was taking a bath and promptly peed himself in front of the toilet. He then proceeded to kick Adilet out of the bath tub so he could get clean, passed out in the tub and then broke it, before going back to bed. A real catch, no? Needless to say, her father wasn’t impressed.

Somehow I convinced Courtney that we needed another baby. Don’t know how, or why, but it happened, through pocky, I believe and thus Castiel Durzo Farkas was conceived. A unique name for a very unique little boy. You see, while I was pregnant with Castiel we did a ritual to fuse his soul with the soul of a cat so that he would have cat ears and a tail. Why? Because we could. It’s actually kind of funny that we named him Castiel Durzo. Castiel we got from the show Supernatural. The character Castiel is an angel who pulled Dean out of hell and helped them stop the apocalypse. He’s full of fluff so the name fits our youngest son. Durzo, however, is a different story. Again, we go back to the Night Angel Trilogy, the same place we got Galen’s occupation. Durzo Blint is the best wetboy in the trilogy. “A wetboy is like an assassin in the way a kitten is like a tiger.” I feel that’s the best way to explain it. Wetboys don’t have targets, they have deaders. So, we named our son after a fluffy angel with a hint of badass and a hardcore wetboy whose hobbies are drinking and making poison.

After Castiel, Courtney cut me off. I think it’s for the best, really. We’ve got our hands full with Galen’s collection and Adilet’s relationship. Castiel is just cute really; he doesn’t give us any trouble. However, trouble has found us from a rather unexpected source. My claim on the father of my children is being threatened by none other than Great Aunt Brelyn! Who’d have thought!?

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Posted by on October 21, 2010 in Rants


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